I don’t believe in “writer’s block.” Never have. If you feel the ideas are scarce, sit down and write anyway. Push through it, and you’ll succeed. That’s what I’ve always told myself and any writers I’ve mentored.
Normally, I’m the Energizer Bunny when it comes to writing. My friends tease me about how fast I can get words on the laptop. That’s not bragging; it’s just what I do. Or what I used to do… Then my mother passed away in September, Jeff got sick in December, and I lost my father in January. Everything changed. Even though I always took my laptop to the hospital, I seldom used it for writing. I was researching cancer and the treatments the doctors were proposing, or else I was keeping up with emails and social media posts. But when I did have time, I allowed my mind to get numb by surfing the Net. YouTube became my best friend when I realized how many Broadway clips there are on the site. I just let my mind go whenever I had the chance to sit down for a few minutes.
There were plenty of ideas for stories. That wasn’t the problem. I just couldn’t make myself write them down. It got worse when Jeff finally came home from the hospital since I had to do so much to take care of his needs. All the time, I kept telling myself that I’d get back to writing. Slowly, he improved, and I had more and more time during the day. But although I found myself with plenty of time to write, I didn’t.
This is very hard for a Type A like me to admit. I fought myself, feeling guilty for not being productive these last few months. Last week, I let the guilt go. So I’m not writing. I don’t need to feel bad about it, especially because I think that this inability to write boils down to this… I’m mentally exhausted.
After everything I’ve been through since August, I shouldn’t be surprised I need some down time. There’s been so much loss, and I was so busy simply doing what had to be done that I didn’t have time to grieve the deaths of my parents, almost losing Jeff, or his cancer diagnosis. Now that things have calmed down, I think I need some healing time for myself. If that means taking a step back from being the Energizer Bunny, so be it.
I know I’ll get back to writing. My agent has some series proposals in the works, and should any of them be contracted, I’ll dive right back in. And because of the mental rest, perhaps I’ll be better than ever. Who knows? The stories are all there, I just need to find my focus again.
Maybe then Sandy will get her groove back.
Fringe Benefits (Ladies Who Lunch Book 4)
When life gets tough and love is hard to find, four friends take their troubles to lunch. High school teacher Danielle Bradshaw deserves a happily ever after, and the Ladies Who Lunch are determined to deliver Mr. Right.