Hi, I’m Lucy Woodhull, and I’m pleased as punch to be back at CRC today. The CRC folks are so nice, and they let me write nonsense blog posts promoting my writing and books. But today is different; I’m not here joking and being silly about my rom-coms. I’m here to say that if you don’t buy my latest book, THE WRATH OF DIMPLE, book three in the Samantha Lytton series, THE WORLD WILL END.
Here’s a blurb!
Unforgettable. That’s what she’s not.
Life is perfect for Samantha Lytton, big-screen superheroine. Her acting career flourishes, the bad guys from her past are in prison, and she’s married her true love, be-dimpled ex-thief Sam. Everything is so rosy and idyllic, it’s like a freaking princess movie. Well, an R-rated one. Nothing could mar Sam and Samantha’s fairy-tale romance!
Except the moment in the emergency room when Sam, his head cracked open, turns to his beloved wife and asks, “Who the hell are you?”
He’s suffering from…Samnesia! (At least he still laughs at Samantha’s stupid puns.) How on earth did that happen? If Samantha is going to live her very own soap opera, she’d choose an evil twin over amnesia any day.
With no idea who has attacked Sam or why, Samantha is left in the depths of despair with a hunk who doesn’t remember her, a creepy film director who’s getting more threatening by the minute, and, oh yeah, the people who continue to try to murder Sam. How do you solve a mystery wrapped in a head bandage inside an empty skull? Nothing a little Norwegian fish porn and a lot of cleavage can’t fix. Hopefully.
Samantha needs every ounce of her courage to win her husband back before their enemies catch up to finish them both off. She thought their love was written in the stars, but it might just be scribbled on an Etch-A-Sketch.
* * *
I’m not actually saying that if you don’t read my Samantha Lytton books the world will end, as I totally said up above, but it could happen. Angry, high-heeled aliens from the planet Rom-Com could exact revenge upon us all! Better not risk it.
Samantha and Sam’s adventures span the globe in a wild romp from love to hate to sex to more sex to roller skates to Olivia Newton-John to love again and then to Samnesia. Fun fact: Only point zero-zero-zero-three percent of Sams are affected by Samnesia, but one hundred percent of Samnesia victims are named Sam.
Why did I end Sam’s world, figuratively? Well, he and Samantha had a fabulous happily-ever-at the end of book two, THE DIMPLE STRIKES BACK, after some wild and harrowing adventures.
So I couldn’t let that stand, obviously.
The first two books were a lot about Sam convincing Samantha that even though he’s a bad boy art thief at heart, he can still be a man who belongs with her, a smart woman on the rise. When his memory is wiped back to before he met Samantha, it’s up to her now to convince him that she’s the right choice for his life. And his dimple. Mmmmmm I love a nice, evil reversal.
Here’s an excerpt from THE WRATH OF DIMPLE, Samantha Lytton book three.
THE WRATH OF DIMPLE
Chapter One: Wedded Blitz
You know those moments that are so surreal, so nightmarish, that it seems you’re trapped in a Lady GaGa video being forced to communicate with a spider wearing a dress made of bees, except you don’t speak spider or bee? Or GaGa for that matter. That’s what it felt like the day soon after New Year’s when I arrived at the hospital, my best friend Ellen clutching my cold, stiff fingers, to hear the terrifying news.
The tall doctor whipped off her no-nonsense glasses with one hand and held a chart with the other. “Ms. Lytton, I’m Doctor Mehta,” she began in the grave voice one delivers spider-strewn news with, “I’m afraid your husband—Mr. Ballitch?—is—”
“Dead!” yelled Ellen.
“Oh my God!” My knees buckled, and I collapsed into the chasm of horror that had suddenly replaced the floor.
“What? No!” The doc knelt down to my pathetic level.
I whipped my head up, hope flaring in my fluttering heart.
“Don’t worry—he’s just in a coma!” she finished with a smile.
They helped me into a plastic waiting room chair, and the doctor said more words to me about Sam. My brand new husband. We were supposed to leave for a honeymoon tomorrow, but now he’d experienced a ‘blow to the head’, had been ‘found in the street’, and lay in a coma—Just a coma! No big whoop!—induced by the doctors to reduce swelling in his brain.
Damn it, I loved his brain. It was one of my favorite parts of him.
“His name is pronounced ‘Ball-itch’,” lied Ellen. The witness protection people had a wonderful sense of humor.
“So, it’s not a natural coma,” Ellen said to me in the faux-happy tone one might use with a deranged cat. She petted my hair. “It’s better, because the professionals are controlling it. Right, Doc?”
Dr Mehta made noncommittal utterings designed to not get herself sued when things took a catastrophic turn for the worse. I’m pretty sure that doctors nowadays refuse to verify anything whatsoever, including their own existence on this plane.
What she’d said finally began to seep into my synapses. No. No, no, no. Sam and I had a good life together now. No more criminals chasing. No more doubts nagging. And we had a cat. A beautiful black cat named Captain Taco. “I don’t want my Taco to be raised in a single-parent household.” The sobs came now like a tsunami.
Dr Mehta pursed her lips and stepped away from me and my wailing. “Do you need a sedative, Ms. Lytton?” Her voice became softer, simpler. “Are you confused?”
My bestie waved her away and held me in her arms while I cried. The world had become a black hole, and its vast emptiness loomed on every side. I clung to Ellen, and she let me get mascara all over her cashmere sweater—that’s love. She cuddled me close for what seemed like hours, until my body was an empty, aching husk. It was like Jesus had punched me in the soul with a fist made of tanker trucks. I told Ellen that, and she said it sounded like a country song.
* * *
Thank you for reading! I hope that the apocalypse doesn’t happen today…but you could check out a free sample of one of my books juuuuuuuuuust to make sure. At the least, leave a comment below to enter to win a copy of one of the Dimple series! (Your choice of book one, two, or three.)