Like the swimming rule – don’t go swimming for an hour after you’ve eaten. I get it if, say, I’ve had a huge dinner…but what if its 100 degrees out and I’ve only had a handful of nuts or a few strawberries? Shouldn’t I be allowed to skip over the don’t swim part and get right into the water?
So I have a rule: swim when you feel like it.
Or this one – write what you know. I know a little bit about a lot of things thanks to my history in journalism. I know more than I want to know about the foster-to-adopt process, about cancer and being a member of the ‘working poor’. But I don’t want to write about those things, as honorable as they are. I want to write stories about love and romance and escapism…because while I was in the middle of those experiences the LAST thing I wanted to think about, read about or watch on TV were stories about adoption, diseases or being poor.
So I have a rule: write what you’re interested in and excited about because that will show through the words.
But the most important broken-rule I have is this: it isn’t my business what other people might think of me. Even if what they think is bad. Especially if what they think is that I’m awesome. Why? Because if I obsess about someone thinking Kristina Is Evil, I’ll get bogged down in it. I may begin to believe them and that is a deep, dark hole to climb out of. Same about people thinking Kristina Is Awesome. Does it make me feel good? Sure, but as with the bad, if I’m obsessing or focusing on someone else thinking I’m the best thing ever I might start to believe that…and I might not work as hard at being a good mom or wife or writer or friend. And I want to be good at those things.
For me, the most important rule – and one that I try never to break – is this: What others think about me isn’t my business. What I think about myself is. My belief in my work, my relationships and my own self-worth is what keeps me motivated and excited and trying to do better.
About the Author:
Once upon a time, Kristina Knight spent her days running from car crash to fire to meetings with local police–no, she wasn’t a troublemaker, she was a journalist. When the opportunity to focus a bit of energy on the stories in her head, she jumped at it. And she’s never looked back. Now she writes magazine articles by day and romance novels with spice by night. She lives on Lake Erie with her husband and daughter. Happily ever after.
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