My February book, A Debt Paid In Passion, not so much. Even this blog post is my fourth try. Or fifth. All I know is I’m past the charm of three.
I’m blaming the post-Christmas blur and having back-to-back releases to promote, but as I sit here trying to remember my inspirations for this book, I keep drawing blanks. I know I wanted to write a revenge trope, with Raoul believing the innocent Sirena stole from him. I love it when these arrogant alphas suddenly realize they’ve been a dumb-ass and have to grovel.
Oh, except then my editor said, “What if she really took the money?” and I went, “Great idea!” And then slipped into a half-conscious state not unlike the one I’m in now. Duh. Drool.
It was a great idea, though. I took me right off my synopsis, which is probably the reason I went two steps forward, one step back, but I’m learning to trust that process as much, probably more, than my old way of following a plan. I mean, they wound up at a red carpet awards ceremony in Los Angeles. It was a surprise, one of many, for Sirena and myself.
Oh, sorry. Hashtag-spoileralert. Hashtag-LOL.
The other thing was, without the ‘you did so, did not, did so’ struggle clogging up the middle, I had to force the characters into other more personal conflicts, where they had to reveal why she stole (borrowed!) and why he thought she ought to go to jail and why she still can’t trust him, even though he said he was sorry. (Brace for grovel.)
In the end, after a rocky journey for all of us, they found HEA. (Another spoiler. I know. I’m bad at this.)
Where do you stand on the revenge trope and the alpha-grovel? Is it better or worse if she’s genuinely guilty?
A beautiful thief…?
Raoul Zesiger has everything a man could want—including Sirena Abbott, the perfect PA who keeps his life in order. Or so it seems, until their professional relationship gives way to one hot, impassioned night…and then he has her arrested for embezzlement!
She may have escaped a prison sentence, but Sirena knows she’ll be shackled to Zesiger by more than just the past. With Raoul determined to recover the debt she owes him, Sirena is torn between guilt and an impossible attraction. But what will happen when Raoul uncovers the truth behind her theft?
Look at me, Raoul Zesiger willed Sirena Abbott.
He had to lean back in his chair to see her past the three men between them. He should have been looking at the judge, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Sirena.
She sat very still, face forward, her profile somber. Her absurdly long, gypsy lashes had stayed down-swept as his lawyer had risen to speak. She didn’t even flick a glance his direction when her own lawyer stood to plead that jail time was counter-productive since she needed to work to pay back the stolen funds.
Raoul’s lawyers had warned him this wouldn’t result in incarceration, but Raoul had pressed hard for it. He would see this treacherously innocent-looking woman, with her mouth pouted in grave tension and her thick brunette locks pulled into a deceptively respectful knot, go to jail for betraying him. For stealing.
His stepfather had been a thief. He had never expected to be taken advantage of again, especially by his reliable PA, a woman he’d come to see as someone he could trust to be there, always, but she had dipped her fingers into his personal account.
Then she had tried to manipulate him into going easy by being easy.
He didn’t want the flash of memory to strike. His ears were waiting for the judge to state that this would progress to a sentence, but his body prickled with heat as he recalled the feel of those plump lips softening under his. Her breasts, a lush handful, had smelled of summer. Her nipples were sun-warmed berries against his tongue, succulent and sweet. The heart-shaped backside he’d watched too often as it retreated from his office had been both taut and smooth as he had lifted her skirt and peeled lace down. Thighs like powdered sugar, an enticing musky perfume between that pulled him to hard attention as he remembered how tight—almost virginal—she’d been. But so hot and welcoming.
Because she’d known her criminal act was about to come to light.
His gut clenched in a mixture of fury and unparalleled carnal hunger. For two years he’d managed to keep his desire contained, but now that he’d had her, all he could think about was having her again. He hated her for having such power over him. He could swear under oath that he’d never hurt a woman, but he wanted to crush Sirena Abbott. Eradicate her. Destroy her.
The clap of a gavel snapped him back to the courtroom. It was empty save for the five of them behind two tables, both facing the judge. His lawyer gave Raoul a resigned that’s-how-it-goes tilt of his head and Raoul realized with sick disgust that the decision had gone in Sirena’s favor.
At the other table, partly obscured by her lawyer, Sirena’s spine softened in relief. Her wide eyes lifted to the heavens, shining with gratitude. Her lawyer thanked the judge and set a hand under Sirena’s elbow to help her rise, leaning in to say something to her.
Raoul felt a clench of possessiveness as he watched the solicitous middle-aged lawyer hover over her. He told himself it was anger, nothing else. He loathed being a victim again. She shouldn’t get away with a repayment plan of six hundred pounds a month.
That wasn’t reparation. That was a joke.
Why wouldn’t she look at him? It was the least she could do: look him in the eye and acknowledge they both knew she was getting away with a crime. But she murmured something to her lawyer and left the man packing his briefcase as she circled to the aisle. Her sexy curves were downplayed by one of her sleek jackets and pencil skirts, but she was still alluring as hell. Her step slowed as she came to the gate into the gallery.
Look at me, Raoul silently commanded again, holding his breath as she hesitated, sensing she was about to swing her gaze to his.
Her lips drained of color and her hand trembled where she outstretched it, trying to find the gate. She stared straight ahead, eyes blinking and blinking—
“She’s fainting!” He shoved past his two lawyers and toppled chairs to reach her even as her own lawyer turned and reacted. They caught her together.
Raoul hated the man anew for touching her as they both eased her to the floor. She was dead weight. He had to catch her head as it lolled. She hadn’t been this insubstantial the last time he’d held her. She hadn’t been fragile.
Raoul barked for first aid.
Someone appeared with oxygen in blessedly short time. He let himself be pushed back a half-step, but he couldn’t take his eyes off the way Sirena’s cheeks had gone hollow, her skin gray. Everything in him, breath, blood, thought, ground to a halt as he waited for a new verdict: that she would be okay.
It was his father all over again. The lack of response, the wild panic rising in him as he fought against helplessness and brutal reality. Was she breathing? She couldn’t be dead. Open your eyes, Sirena.
Distantly he heard the attendant asking after pre-existing conditions and Raoul racked his brain. She wasn’t diabetic; had never taken medication that he’d seen. He reached for the phone he’d turned off while court was in session, intent on accessing her personnel file when he heard her lawyer answer in a low murmur.
The words burst like shattered glass in his ears.
Dani Collins spent twenty-five years dreaming of writing full time and finally made her first sale to Harlequin Mills & Boon in May of 2012. She’s still dreaming of making Romance Author her day job, but for now she writes around work, family, and enough exercise to keep her out of traction. For more information about Dani, you can visit her website at www.danicollins.com, listen to her interview with Nice Girls Reading Naughty Books, or watch her interview on GFTV.
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