The other day, Anah came across a charming image online, the one you see below of the ‘gentleman’ reading. We’re pretty sure it’s an erotic romance, given his condition. And aside from thinking, “Didn’t I date that guy?”, it got us thinking that there are only a narrow range of words for describing that particular body part—sexy words, anyway. That got us onto the question of: how can we spend so much time writing about things we have so few words for?
Let’s be honest, ‘penis’ is not exactly a charmer. If ‘cock’ is Sean Connery, hot as hell and a little dangerous, ‘penis’ is Gilbert Gottfried. ‘Dick’, well, maybe that’s more Scott Bakula. Handsome, rugged, and utilitarian—sexy enough in the right context. ‘Wang’ is definitely getting into Carrot Top territory. ‘Throbbing member’ is the Fabio of male genitalia: we’d get the giggles if we had to admit to liking it in public but we have fond memories of it from our early days reading scandalous romance novels.
It took us a while to get used to dick—which isn’t entirely untrue in any context but especially in terms of writing. It’s grown on us…there is really no good way to write this blog post, we’re so sorry. Only half the double entendres in here are intentional. Maybe not even that. But, as we were saying, dick has grown on us. (A: I am not entirely sure we’re going to survive this post. D: I am entirely sure we are not going to survive this post.)
Sometimes there’s something particularly enticing about a word that verges on crass. For feminine bodies, ‘breasts’ is a lovely word. Why can’t men have a word that appropriate? It’s round and soft and a bit naughty, rolls right off the tongue. When the heroine looks at herself and hitches up her girls and thinks “nice tits”, though, it’s a bit of a thrill.
With the proper words for feminine genitalia, though, we’re right back to the Gilbert Gottfried problem, sadly. There are far too many very crass words for those parts and for many of us the fun has been stolen from them because people use them as insults. Some of the words are lovely, though, like ‘pussy’, which really is the Honor Blackman of those terms. Naughty, hot, and graceful. Mind you, we write almost exclusively in the gay romance genre so we rarely have use for those words.
Have you got favourite words for body parts? Are there any that turn you off completely? Any you can’t type without getting the giggles? Anah still gets stuck on dick…not literally! Oh dear….